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2001-10-10 10:11 a.m.

I never thought I would ever move in with a girlfriend, so I am constantly surprised that I did it. It turns out, though, that living with Andie is SO cool. She is so easygoing and nice and funny and wonderful.

Seriously, it is amazing. She keeps her side of the room so neat and tidy.

She never complains that there are stupid piles of clothes on my side of the room.

This is also the case with her dresser and mine. Hers is organized and there is plenty of room for her to sit at it and write or draw or whatever. Mine has piles of stupid papers, used condom wrappers, old concert tickets, cut up credit cards, my retainers, even a dust mask. (I guess I must really need that dust mask next to my bed, or something.)

Her dresser

My dresser. Oh yeah! See the dust mask there on the left?

She is so amazingly cute. Even when she is getting ready in the morning when she feels grumpy she is just adorable. I think I am going to pee myself.

How does she do it?

One weird thing is that she subscribes to Playboy. She insists that this is all about reading the articles or something. Let me explain one thing. Playboy is SO DUMB. First of all, the girls in there are not cute. Second of all, they are always posing on bales of hay or in nice velvet chairs and other completely unlikely settings. Third of all, you have to dig through about 1,000 pages of stupid crap to find one breast or vulva. Worst of all, it is completely soft core — not smutty at all. If you are looking for two (or more) "consenting adults" (or non–adults) engaging in "marital relations" then this is SO not the magazine for you. Better try the WWW instead.

It's like Disney porn. Boner factor = DANGEROUSLY LOW

Anyway, I really like my new living situation.