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2002-01-11 10:22 a.m.

From left to right: Skot's furry jacket, Tollef, Olga, and the door to Boris' room. Olga looks pretty harmless, but read on to find out why she is a butt–crazed maniac.

So, today, I got an email from someone (to protect their identity, we will simply call them "Olga") regarding my last diary entry—the one about washing my face.
From: "olga"
Date: Thu Jan 10, 2002 10:38:27 PM US/Pacific
Subject: Brushing your face with toothpaste sucks, I know

Anyway, man I read your diary today online, about how Andy and you discovered some top world disasters in human history. Brushing your teeth in the morning and rubbing clean your face all the time is some of those things, others include dying, not getting sex and etc...

Anyway, the reason I message you about this is because I know you don't have any pimples on your face, but what I REALLY want to see is the pimples on you BUTT. Yes, those pictures you took for us are NOT ENOUGH, I want to see the pimples on your butt!!!


For the love of God people. What do I have to do to prevent such menacing emails?

Ok, ok. The thing is that I don't even have any pimples on my butt. I wish I did, though. Pimples are not only fun to squeeze, but sometimes they are also...well, um, very very fun to squeeze. I have had butt pimples a few times in my life, and each time they were swollen, fire–red, pus volcanos—literal cornucopias of overflowing creamy goodness.

But, those butt pimples have been very few and far between. Much to my dismay, my butt is instead plagued with something that I don't like one bit: hair. Anyway, in order to keep down the overwhelming deluge of probing emails regarding my butt pimple status, I have decided to compromise my modesty and morals to bring you this picture:

I don't have a hairy back or anything, so why do I have a hairy butt? It is like the hair just continued up from my legs—it crept up like continents slowly drift across the Earth's surface. I don't really know what to do about this problem. Waxing? Shaving? Slash and burn?

So, now I am sure that everyone is satisfied and happy, as the truth has come into the light for all to see. Now let's all go and have fun days!