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2002-02-07 3:51 p.m.

After having my new iBook for only four days, I managed to break it. See, the optical drive kept popping open and ejecting the CD whenever I jolted the thing or sat it down. It was super annoying, and I wanted to demonstrate it to Adam at a party. So, I figured I would shake it to show him. Except that the drive FLEW out of the machine and ended its life. It was majorly broken.

So, it was time for it to go live at AppleCare for a few weeks and visit Repair Land.

I tried really hard to keep up writing during that time, but it just was not as easy and fun without my iBook.

I was surprised I even remembered how to use a pencil or pen. My penmanship had really gone down.

I told myself I woud write every day in my paper diary. It would be different, but very cool. I was having a positive attitude about it all. But, that did not work out as well as I planned. I hated it.

For the love of God, people. How long does it take to fix an optical drive in an iBook. Was the Apple Repair Pervert Parade busy sticking their dicks in my computer instead of fixing it?

I had been really tired of waiting and waiting and waiting. As you can imagine, I nearly peed my pants three times over when I got a knock on my door and it was the delivery guy.

I carried the box into my office like a magical happy piss parade. Here I am about to fellate the cardboard box.

OH MY GOD DUDE. What if it was NOT the iBook and was instead something terrible, like a huge, lifelike Satanic penis statue with the face of my own father and it shot violent, carnivorous vampire honeybee scorpions that would fly up into my urethra and eat my bladder using their razor sharp pincer–fang technology? What if it was the Michael Bolton and Celine Dion duet box set?

Ok, it turned out that it was my iBook after all, so I am very happy now. I am happy that it is back with me again.

Happily ever after.