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2002-02-28 9:48 p.m.

The HTs. Part 3.

If you don't know anything about the HTs, you may want to start from the beginning.

Wow, I could not believe it. Within a few hours of posting my first part of the Horse Testicle Story, I got a call on my mobile phone from Olga. She sounded so frantic and out of breath as she spoke. She hurrriedly asked where I was, and I told her I was at work. Then she asked if she could come by my work and see them. Them? I was not sure what she meant, but she sensed this and clarified: The HTs, dude.

Olga's explosive energy and enthusiasm for life always amazes me, and this time was really no different. She was already on her way to my work as she phoned me! Best of all, it made me feel relieved to know that I was not the only one who was so excited about horse balls.

She arrived a few minutes later and we made some chit–chat in the lobby before heading down to the subterranean parking garage, where the HTs were safe at rest in the trunk of my car. This was a truly special day for the HTs, as this would be the first time someone came to visit them. This was the equivalent of the first time a child has a friend come over when his parents did not plan it. Of course, this sort of thing becomes commonplace over time, but the very first occurance feels like a magical moment, a landmark in time.

Here we see Olga holding the VERY SAME PHONE she used to call me to arrange the EPIC horse testicle visit. Modern technology is a lot like a huge, black boner in your grandma's face: IT TOTALLY RULES.

Olga held the jar and eagerly peered inside with wide eyes. She mentioned that she expected them to be more red, you know, like the pictures. Her voice echoed through the subterranean parking garage as she exclaimed how she wanted to take them out and squeeze them and juggle them in the air. I kind of felt like like blushing.

Balls, Olga. Balls. STOP PRETENDING THAT YOU ARE SURPRISED OR EVEN THE SLIGHTEST BIT AFFECTED. This is probably an every day thing for her, seriously. She was just being coy.

Ok, here is where Olga started getting pretty boisterous and I started to blush. You can see the eager and excited look on her testicle–obsessed face. "I MUST SHAKE THEM LIKE A CAN OF SODA AND THEN I WILL ARGHBLURBRULBRURLB! MORE TEST–I-CLES!!!!! ARGHAGGAHGAHAGHBLURBRLB!" Come on, this is where I work, people.

...and then we went back upstairs to the lobby, where none other than super receptionist and black market horse testicle dealer Karina was sitting. Olga exploded, "OH MY GOD DUDE! IT'S YOU! WOW! YOU ARE FAMOUS!" A brief conversation ensued, wherein Olga expressed how excited she was and how cool she thought Karina was while Karina smiled, laughed, and hoped not to get fired for the big scene being made. Olga also made sure to emphatically shout the words testicles and balls a few times during her brief discussion with Karina, which is not only expected, but also 100% appropriate, especially when in the lobby of any huge corporation, including but not limited to a large computer company's world headquarters. No, seriously. It is cool. No big deal. It is only my job and all.

Olga and the HTs appeared to get along quite well, but, this whole scene made me wonder. What if the HTs got famous and forgot about me? But, then again, I was not giving them as much attention as I should have been.

Relationships are not easy. Maybe I would have to find a way to show the HTs that I truly was in it for the long haul with them? What was I going to do?