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2002-03-02 11:00 a.m.
The problem is that they only hire massage people who are hippies. They have pictures of stupid dolphins on their bios. They write things like, "massage healing set your soul free to have peaceful morning chakra nag champa yoga from energy healing earth wisdom" and such. This stuff is to be expected, and is really no surprise at all. The thing which blows my mind is their names. They have names that you would not believe. Star. Rainbow. Liia. Pasha. MoonHeart. MoonHeart was our personal favorite, because in his photo he had this peaceful yet deceptive look on his face that said, "Ok, now as soon as you relax I AM GOING TO PEACEFULLY AND LOVINGLY FINGER YOUR ASS LIKE YOU ARE AN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL STUDENT." I mean DUH, when you read the name MoonHeart, you know what you are getting. Obviously, you are going to get your ass fingered. That is why they take on these names, after all�the names are another way to communicate their sentiments to the world. So, Andie and I compiled a list of other potentially successful names for massage practitioners. � EyeHaveABoner � FriendHater � Hammer�Fists � PetKiller � BabyRaper � Flesh�Ripping�Rabies�Infected�Talons � Mr. T � Fingers�Like�Syringes � Dirty�Old�Man�With�Cerebral�Palsy
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