2002-03-13 6:15 p.m.
There are things that I like and then there are things that I do not like. Showering is among the things I do not like. Bathing and washing in general falls into the same category. Oh, and I can't forget shaving. It also sucks the fat one.
So, being that I avoid showering, I was not very surprised when I got to thinking about showering today and could not remember the last time I did it! My memory is not very useful at keeping track of stuff past about seven days ago, and, since I could not remember when I last showered, I figured it must have been at least seven days ago. Maybe more. Who knows?
So, it is pretty clear that the fact of the matter is that I am a smelly pig. Yep. No doubt about it. What blows my mind is that in spite of my extremely low hygiene standards, I have actually managed to have sex with other people besides myself. Real live women, even! Not even kidding here. In fact, I have done it more than once.
The thing is that showering is boring and stupid. I used to shower more when I was single because I thought I would never get dates if I didn't. But, now that I have a real girlfriend, I get to be as filthy as I want. Don't get me wrong, if she complains I will definitely clean up right away. I like to think I am sensitive to the needs of her sensitive nose. But, thank god she has never complained yet.
When I finally do decide to shower, I soap up and scrub as fast as I possibly can. Get one thing straight: I want this showering thing to be OVER like pronto. Today was no different. I think I must have been in there less than three minutes. I mean, it is not like I am very big—I weigh in at a meager 135 pounds. How long should it really take to wash my fly–weight body?
Ok, gotta go work on music for a while before dinner.
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