2002-03-19 9:49 a.m.

Here on my shelf the glorious and voluptuous horse testicles will proudly shine for all to see.

Andie and I had a talk and it turns out she was just kidding when she said that the horse testicles could not come and live in the house with us. In fact, to show how welcome they were in our home, she rearranged the things on my shelf to make a special place for them to sit.

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Have no doubt in your mind. Hot Mate is not for eating, it is exclusively for hot mating, including but not limited to high temperature copulation, superfucking, mega�boning, "doing it", and date rape.

Ben Burling brought these really funny little juice boxes to work today and shared one with me. He is always so generous with his snacks, and I really appreciate that about him.

Cereal for adults. Do not enter unless you are over 18.

He goes to the Asian food market right by work, where he picks up boatloads of dried shredded squid, "mustarded mushrooms" (Is being mustarded like being retarded? I hope so.), fried broad beans, miniature juice boxes, and other weird things with Asian writing on them. Hello? WHAT IS WRONG WITH ASIAN PEOPLE? Seriously, there must be something I am not understanding here.

Here you can see Ben Burling and me, dwarfed by the fantastically large, planet�sized quantities of juice literally overflowing from each box of Juicy Juice.

Let's talk about that Napoleon complex...poor Juicy Juice. Don't worry, Juicy Juice. I love you, Juicy Juice, even if you are inadequately sized! Who says bigger is better? Quality not quantity, right? Or something....

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I got my navel pierced this weekend. I have been IMing with this girl named Eryn and she suggested that I get it done. At first when she recommended it, I thought, "I am fem, yes, but I am not a total and complete flaming fag." But, she said, "Justin, that piercing looks SEXY on guys with flat, hairy tummies." Hm. I asked Andie and she said she thought it would be sexy, so I did it. The pain was not so bad, not nearly as bad as my nipples when I got them pierced....the bad part is that I have to take showers more often in order to keep it clean. It is bad enough getting up at 6AM every morning to go to work, but showering in the morning, too, is even worse.

I just got out of the shower and took this picture, in order to capture my misery.

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