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2002-03-21 9:05 a.m.

You are a wonderful wonderful person and I am fabulously in love with you. I'm positive you get daily offers for wild ass-spanking sex if you don't let me know and I'll offer to have wild ass-spanking sex with you daily.

I had the joy of receiving this fantastically cute note in my Diaryland notes page last night, and it got me to thinking.

It was really cute...probably my favorite note so far, seeing as flattery and sexual advances always butter my bread. I am a sucker for flattery. The truth is that I do not get offers for wild ass–spanking sex every day. Not ever, really. Kinda too bad, but I am coping...trying to get day at a time.

I got to thinking about how much I am a sucker for flattery, and how a friend of mine took me out to lunch a few weeks back and she paid for everything. I remember saying to her as she paid the check, "Wow. Thanks. But, you should know...People just don't get it. They try so hard. But, you don't have to pay for my lunch, I'll fuck you anyway. I'm easy." I giggled so hard at what I said. Now, this person is clearly only my friend (no sexual tension, etc.) and I would have never ever said this sort of thing to a potential lover in the past. But, although I was kidding, there was a lot of truth in it—perhaps what made it funny was that it was so true.

I think I have always been so easy, but still people thought that flattery and bribery would help them get what they wanted from me. Well, it turns out they were right. But, what they should have known was that I was SO INSANELY easy that they could have just asked nicely for whatever they wanted—or even hinted at what they wanted—and I would have always happily obliged. Sex. Gifts. Favors. Money. Rides. Whatever. Now that I have a real girlfriend and live with her and all, things are kinda different in that she gets the lion's share of my attention. Luckily for me, she is sweet enough to still butter me up with flattery and good, hearty sexual harassment, though, even though she knows she doesn't need to. It really rocks.

Here is another totally gratuitous and ridiculous picture of me, since pictures are all anyone really wants seeing as reading is boring and it sucks and anyone who stumbles on this page is probably smart enough to already be aware of this.