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2002-04-02 10:17 a.m.

Well, the Twin Towers contest is finally over. All four of the necklaces are gone, sent away across the country to their new homes. I really appreciate all the great stories, letters, and pictures I received. It was a blast getting to hear from so many new people, and I was filled with pride and joy knowing that so many people wanted to own such a horribly offensive thing. There is hope for humanity!

The whole Twin Towers Necklace thing got me to thinking about how in our modern world, you can't get something for nothing. But, why not? Because those are the rules. That is just how it is. So, what is the solution? Change the rules. Someone has to simply decide one day that they are going to do it all differently.


The gifts that keep on giving. A picture like one of these may soon be showing up in your mailbox!

So, I have decided that I am going to send anyone who wants one an autographed picture of the horse testicles. Yes, you could be the first on your block to proudly display a photo of me lovingly caressing the glorious HTs. I will send you either a 4X5 or 8X10 as well as one wallet–sized photo. So, not only can you have a picture next to your bed for those special intimate moments, but also a portable one for those alone times in the handicapped stall at work. All you have to do is email me with your mailing address.

How long will this offer last for? Forever, basically. I will keep sending photos as long as people keep asking. Go ahead and email me!


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