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2002-04-24 6:40 p.m.


People of Earth! Rest assured that this picture of me slaving away with my new button making machine was NOT produced with my Canon S100 Digital Elph Camera. What? Perhaps you were worried for a second that my camera may have gotten fixed or replaced already? Do not worry. My camera is definitely still broken, so you need not worry any longer. You can rejoice in knowing that it was Boris' camera, and not mine, since mine is, in fact, 100% broken.

I am pretty bummed about this not–having–a–camera thing. Luckily, Tollef has been very supportive. He has really helped me learn to deal with my suffering and loss by employing the ancient "torment your friend and make them suffer method". Check out archived post 56 at his website, here.

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Sigh.

I went to The Good Guys last night and talked with them about my camera, and they said that because it appeared to have signs of physical damage, they doubted that the repair facility would fix it for me, even though I had purchased their three–year, super–duper, mega–warranty–of–death. It appears that when I purchased the warranty I did not read the ultra–fine print, which was kept on microfiche in their secret subterranean stronghold, guarded by enormous, hyper–intelligent attack lobsters with laser–gun eyes. Gee, what a retard I am! I should have known that my specific situation was not covered by the warranty.

I tried talking, begging, bribery, and escalating. While the staff appeared somewhat sympathetic, even the "General Manager" Sam Dukes—an intelligent man with a confident handshake—seemed unempowered to help me.

This sadly reinforced my idea that two major problems keep today's businesses from reaching their full potential:

1) For the most part, businesses and their employees are not sympathetic to the needs of their customers—the employees glow with apathy. They just don't care that your digital camera does not work. Why should they care? They are lucky if they get paid less than half of what they deserve—they watch the clock for the moment they can go home.

2) Employees are not empowered to deal with the very situations they are responsible for. They are given responsibility, but not the power to really solve the problems which they are regularly faced with. Countless customers with individual problems will never get their needs met as long as this is the dominant workplace paradigm.

So, I did what any sensible person would have done. I went home and bought another Canon Elph on eBay. Thank god for eBay! I can't wait until eBay and similar internet business conduits push the what remains of America's crumbling storefronts off the cliff into the ocean once and for all—sure, a bunch of people will lose their jobs, but maybe we can feed them to the homeless?

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Day 1: List of things I wish I had my camera so I could photograph

• My broken camera

• A frame by frame animation of my backpack (with camera inside) falling off the roof of Andie's van at 50 MPH.

• Good Guys General Manager, Sam Dukes. In spite of the fact that he did not do a single thing to help me get a functioning camera, I liked him. He had this strong, intelligent air about him, like a college professor.

• My fabulous friend Olga, who kindly came to my work today and donated $5 to the button fund, so I can send more buttons to my homeless impoverished readership who—although they miraculously have computers and internet connections—somehow can not afford to send a meager dollar or two themselves so that I can send them buttons which I made by hand using my new button press.

• I mostly wish I could photograph the feeling of joy which overwhelms every cell in my helpless body when I am faced with the awesome and gigantic beauty of a sunny spring day in California.

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I would really like to put MP3s of my songs up on the web for people to listen to, but I don't have any server space. Please email me if you would like to donate some server space to this cause.


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