|
2002-06-04 9:47 p.m. Recently I thought it would be a good idea to indulge in a gift for myself. It would be a simple comfort�a little something to reward myself for being nice, working hard, and being a diligent, contributing member of society. Millions of Americans reward themselves similarly every day. The sentiment is the same, although the details of the justifications vary from, "I am going to buy myself this new Trans Am (which I can not afford) because I work hard (as a receptionist or a manager of a Taco Bell) and I deserve a good car" to the likes of, "I really want the new Bad Religion CD, and I did get a C+ on that test, which is better than I expected, and it only costs $15 and I really think they are going to break some new ground on this album, it could not possibly sound at all like their other albums" or maybe even, "I am buying this Real Doll because being a lawyer is hard and�after helping the world by kicking widows and orphans out of their homes�I deserve to feel the exhilaration of fucking a corpse". For some reason, my internal dialog of reasoning felt so real, so right, though. I needed this. So, full of my own personal flavors of self�justifications, I found the web site I wanted, and placed my order. Click. Add to cart. Proceed to check out. Click! Spurt! Then began the long wait. Surprisingly, I barely noticed the two short weeks rush by, in spite of my eager anticipation. I almost forgot I had even ordered anything, so I received quite a surprise when I approached my office and found this huge box quietly waiting in front of my door, blocking my entrance.
The Shitbegone gift�giving fiesta was somewhat rushed, as my mom arrived almost immediately to take me to lunch at Chipotle. I grabbed a few rolls for her and for Jen�the manager of Chipotle�and ran down the stairs to the parking lot.
PREVIOUS ENTRY - NEXT ENTRY |