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2002-12-09 11:56 a.m.

So, yes I am back. Life has been a bit of a whirlwind, but I am somehow readjusting to life in CA. I don't miss Sweden. But, I didn't miss CA either. I missed some of my friends and loved ones. But, I feel a bit out of place here now. I can no longer justify why I am here and why I am doing what I am doing anymore. Being in Sweden sort of burned off this fog that lingered over my life's landscape—a not–so–unpleasant but somewhat obscuring fog that prevented me from seeing my current life for exactly what it is.

So, now I must distill my thoughts and intentions and goals and such in order to decide where my next few footsteps might fall. I must make some decisions now that the fog is gone.

I have been toying with the idea that I should start to wholeheartedly devote my hours to something which I would do for free, rather than something that promises money, security, or the other addictive traps of this world. I always encouraged my friends to fill their lives with things they naturally would do for fun—even without pay. This always seems to result in the highest moral and spiritual quality of life—you do what you love and love what you do. But, I think that somehow along the way I got distracted or perhaps lost track of this truth.

Now, I need to get back on track. I need to start laying down my own, new track.


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