2003-05-22 6:16 p.m.

Work paid for us to all go see the new Matrix movie this morning. We had the entire theater to ourselves.

Who cares about the movie, though? Clearly, the highlight was how I drank a huge soda and then held my voluminous pee in for over two hours. I was hoping to beat my old record of 2:10 of constant pee stream. But, this time I came in at only 1:52. Not quite the victory I expected at the urinal. Oh well, maybe next time.

My friend Corinne—mastermind behind the epic button site seventy–seven.net—somehow stumbled on this epic photo, clearly a message of hope from God:

Clearly a message from GOD, directed to me through His most Holy oracle of Fact and Righteousness, The Internet.

This may be the most important Sign since the Big Cock Bible was revealed to the world. Blessed be the HTs!

To celebrate this Holy Sign, I am offering USA LOVES HTs buttons to the world! Send me $1 US cash to the address below and I will send you a button so you can also celebrate! If you live outside the US, send $2 to cover shipping costs. Hurry, the world needs you to shine the glory of the HTs as soon as possible! This offer is only good until June 10th, or, until I run out of buttons!

Send money to:

Justin John Winokur
554 Ellery Street
San Jose CA 95127-1412
USA


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