IMPORTANT NEW NOTES FROM JUSTIN:
Iíve been traveling for 218 days! I'm in Sedona, AZ on a spontaneous desert trip with my mom. Life is mostly busy, as I am working very hard to find an entertainment management company to work with on the release of my new album. Know a good PR person anyone? My new web site: http://justinwinokur.com is live. Go forth and buy stuff, including MP3 downloads of my new album!
Iím converting the diary entries and photos of my travels into a book. Iím still collecting content, too. So, Iím looking for nice, fun people who can put me up for a few nights, host me, feed me, and show me their unique flavor of America. Iím looking forward to learning about your world and writing about our times together! If you think it might be fun to host me for a day or two or three, email me.
Please make sure to include your address and phone number in your email.
I am especially looking for places to stay on the East Coast north of Virginia.
Please contact me ASAP if you want to hang out!
If you believe in what I am doing and want to help support me, please do so! Check out my web site or donate money to me using PayPal or with a credit card. Email me for more information!
US Tour Day 185: Faith
An email conversation with a friend I met on this trip:
Date: March 15, 2004 1:07:46 PM EST
To: Justin Winokur
I just read your latest posted diary entry about your birthday, and it really spoke to me. At first it made me sad, knowing that you had to spend your birthday alone in a hotel lobby and crying. I can only imagine how that must've been, especially when you had had Andie to spend your birthday with years before, along with other close friends.
Then you started talking about your doubts and how you used to judge yourself for having them. I can really relate to that. Even now, when I feel pretty upbeat for for most part, I still have these sad, negative thoughts now and again. And I always think to myself that, for some reason, it's bad to have these thoughts. But it's not. It doesn't mean that I am flawed; it just means that I am human, and I never really thought about it that way until you discussed it with me. It actually really shocked me when you told me that I wasn't a flawed person because for some reason, I actually started to believe it. I always thought I was so screwed up, and even though people would tell me otherwise, it never really clicked. So, thank you for whatever you did to make me realize that i'm not such a freak.
And then you spoke about expectations, which are probably the biggest problem in my life (and maybe everyone's). You said in the entry that "we must relinquish emotional connections to and expectations for that which we do not have." But do you have any idea how impossibly hard that is? I mean, is it even possible to do that completely? Sometimes I think that even though letting go of these expectations will make me happier, I just don't want to let them go. I haven't really figured out why I wouldn't want just throw away these expectations and be happy, though... I guess maybe it's just incredibly difficult to change the way you've been your whole life. Maybe it takes a long time, and i'm just thinking that it will happen overnight. Who knows.
From: Justin Winokur
Date: March 17, 2004 5:12:35 PM EST
Thanks for such a lovely email.
About relinquishing our expectations:
Faith. You must have faith that you get what you need in this life. In fact, when we observe it we often find we get far more than we need. This is a life of abundance, yet we continue to live as if it is a desert of scarcity. Why, though, when all evidence points to the fact that the universe is conspiring to provide us with beauty, challenges, learning, and more than enough?
When you have faith that the next moment will be better then this one you can start to see the benefits of letting go of your expectations. See, expectations are based on the past. We try to relate what might happen in the future to some version of something we have experienced in our past. How limiting, considering that the possibilities in the future are infinite!
Why would we constrain it to such finite dimensions as the language of the past? It is because we are faithless; we are shortsighted. And so our minds predict -- expect -- events in the future using words that are only really relevant to the obsolete past. Such a mental lexicon seems insufficient to describe the myriad possibilities that spread out in the seconds, minutes, and hours yet to come.
To change our ways of being we must first change our ways of thinking. We must shift our concept of the world from the scarcity model of life to the abundance model. It's not easy to do this all at once. It takes time -- it takes practice.
Start with something small in your life -- an issue that you have been clutching to, something where your expectations are causing you to suffer. Consider that there are possibilities for this issue that you have not even considered. Then, open your mind to the possibility of letting go of your expectations about it. Write down your thoughts about it. Stay accountable when your mind falls back into old patterns. Try it for a few weeks and see how it goes. Then, try to do the same for another part of your life. With practice this cutting of the ties to the past becomes natural and thoughtless -- it will just be how you live. So, why not start letting go of expectations and walking down the path of faith and abundance today?
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