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2005-07-12


After my shows in Borlänge, I went out to Sälen. There I was met by my old friend Alexandra. She and her boyfriend took me and showed me an amazing, old–fashioned rural Swedish time. This is the inside of the hotel she manages. The hotel is at the top of the mountain there. This hotel was made in around 1550!


People are really into moose in this part of the country. And, by saying that people are "into moose" I mean that they like to shoot them, eat them, and display their heads wherever animal heads can be displayed. I imagine what it would be like to pick a moose's nose. A nostril that large is begging for my finger (or whatever) to probe into it.


A detail of the old cupboard in the hotel.


This is the outside of the hotel. The sign proudly proclaims that if you come inside they will force you to eat vafflår, which means waffles. You have a few choices of berry toppings, but I chose cloudberries since those are clearly more interesting than strawberries or rasberries. I thought it was strange that the building was painted black, but I really liked it. I think more buildings should be painted black.


Feast your eyes on the fantastic taste explosion of SWEDISH WAFFLES!


I was going to say we had a waffle fiesta. But, they don't have fiestas in Sweden. They have fests. So, after we were done with the waffle fest, we went back to Alexandra's place at the bottom of the mountain. Her home looked like an old country log cabin, and there were other mini sattelite cabins dotting the yard. There was a sauna cabin, a guest house cabin, a storage cabin, and this cabin wwhich I think was mostly used to hang antlers on.


Just to make sure things were sufficiently rural, we went canoeing down the river in hopes of seeing BEAVERS swimming around. Did you know beavers can swim? Oh yes. They can. I used to think that beavers only existed in cartoons. And, I thought the cartoons were only a front for boring old men who thought using the word beaver to refer to a woman's gentalia. I've had intimate experiences with a lot of vaginas and surrounding areas. And, only once or twice have I seen a vagina chewing on bark and swimming around in the river and building little walls out of sticks. I don't think that's enough examples to make a generalization out of.


We did in fact see a beaver swimming around. It was in fact adorable. It tried to get a picture but it went under water before I could get the camera ready. And, every single person I've excitedly told, "I SAW A BEAVER" has chuckled and made some really stupid vagina reference. It's really boring. I mean, I like vaginas and all. But, dude, it's not every day you get to see a beaver—like the demo version, back before it got signed to a major label and sold out. Also, note that Alexandra is really getting into the nature by talking on her mobile phone while canoeing.




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