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2005-08-19 11:40 p.m.

David Birde from Brainpool at the Aerosol Grey Machine, getting ready for the Junk Musik showcase in Malmö.

Just finished practicing for the Junk Musik showcase concert. My band is pretty stellar, I have Magnus from the Metro Jets on guitar, Christoffer from Brainpool on bass, Jens from Brainpool on drums, and David from Brainpool on percussion. And, we have David, the keyboardist from the Bo Sundström band playing with us.

It was hard to play with them at at first. We all knew the songs. Christoffer played many of the tracks on the record and he produced it. And Jens did the drums. And, geez, I wrote the damned songs. Yet still we sounded like a bunch of 15–year–olds in a garage. By the end of the night the final rehearsals were pretty good, though.

Magnus from the Metro Jets. What a great guitar player this guy is!

Then again, the songs had never been played with a band before, so I can't expect it to be too easy. Even on the record we put down tracks individually. Sometimes we played live. But, never before have I sang with a band behind me. I'm still not sure if I like it or not yet.

I guess if it's not one discomfort then it's another. What i've been doing is rough, too. I feel very naked and vulnerable being on stage all by myself—playing solo, acoustic shows. So, I'm pretty used to it. This whole thing with other people to coordinate with and instruments to tune and so on, well, I feel like a virgin again. It's been a good five years or more since I played live with a band with amps and cords and people being late and all.

I remain optimistic, though. These guys are some of my favorite musicians alive—I think it will be amazing when we hit the stage!

Listening to the first Azure Ray album. Someone is going to put on my favorite music and make herbal tea and make sure the tiny Swedish IKEA sofas are ok. That someone is me.

So, I'm having my dream date this evening with myself. It's a quiet night—me and me. But, at least I know everything's out in the open. And, it feels great. When there is nobody there to take care of me, I can.

NOTE: I have more entries to post from the Sweden tour. But, I'm going offline for two weeks. Posts will resume after September 11, 2005.