I was anxious about coming to the ASCAP Expo. I've felt overwhelmed with everything going on in my life recently and this felt like another thing to crowd onto my already over–full plate.
But, now that I'm here I feel fine. I did have a little bit of worry this morning, though. When I arrived at the Hollywood Renaissance Hotel to check into the convention they told me they didn't have me on the list. But, a little exploring with the right people found my name.
They had no problem finding my normal registration—the thing that lets me into the whole event. But, the thing is that I am here not just to sit in on the classes. I was selected by ASCAP and Desmond Child to be a part of Desmond's "master session" panel tomorrow on songwriting. I will be performing my song No Truth Anymore and have it critiqued and talked about with Desmond Child in front of a big audience. It's pretty exciting! He's written and produced for some VERY successful projects: Kiss, Ricky Martin, Hall & Oates, Michael Bolton.
Funny. I've been asking the universe for clarity and signs about what to do with my life. I guess having my performing rights organization pick my song for a panel with this prolific, interesting member of my industry might qualify as such a sign.
It's good to have positive things like this happen, because I've been thinking about giving up on music. Why give up on music? It seems like so much work and time with so little reward. I spent years of my life and all my money (and plenty of other people's money) to make Thirteen Songs About Love. It's a lovely album and I'm so proud of it. However, nobody actually bought it.
Maybe I just need to stop trying to sell my music and just focus on making it? Something to consider. Seems like selling albums for most artists is a pretty dismal affair since the internet came along. The music industry as a whole is doing wonderfully. But, the RECORD industry is going to the next stop past hell it seems.
I think the key for me is to persevere and just keep on making songs and recording them and pitching them to TV and movies and so on. Luckily I return to Sweden in May to finish up the next album.
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