2006-08-16

Boris had this chicken stuffed animal toy. It was one of those hideous, noise-making ones. And it wasn't like it said something funny or played a nice song—like something by Slayer or Fleetwood Mac. No, it played the chicken dance song over and over. Yes, the horrible one you have to learn as a little kid. The one with the clapping and the chicken flapping arms. The one that infects your mind and you can't get it out no matter how hard you try.

Even worse: The chicken vibrated while it played the horrible song.

We've hated this song for a very long time. So, the chicken was sort of doomed from the start.

So, I have to say that it felt good to get to blow it up with an AR-15 assault rifle yesterday.

Some people argue that guns are bad for society. They might be right. But, guns can not possibly be as bad for our world as that stupid chicken toy playing that stupid song over and over.

And, oh god, the vibrating.

Thank god that's over.

If you have any stuffed animals you'd like to see blown up with an AR-15, please email me and I'll even videotape us shooting the hell out of them and send you a movie of it. Cool, eh?


PREVIOUS ENTRY - NEXT ENTRY