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2006-09-06


Asian things! Hooray!

How can anyone not love the Asian grocery store?

Well, ok, there is the fact that it smells really terrible, like a vast wasteland of abused fish chum left in the sun on the hottest day of August.

But, besides that the Asian grocery store is the best place on Earth. Everything is cheap, the vegetables are wonderful and strange, and there's endless comedy on every shelf.


A lot of people don't know this, but I was raised in a Filipino household most of my life. And, we had to eat some fucked up horrible shit sometimes. Like this filthy vegetable. It's called ampalaya, otherwise known as "bitter melon." WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH FILIPINO PEOPLE? Why would ANYONE want to eat something with the word BITTER right in the name?


I sure wish I had WANG stamped on me. If anyone can think of a good place to get WANG tattooed on me, please let me know, since I can't possibly think of a good spot on my own! Thanks!


Cool booths at the steam tray dining area.


Adam came with me to the grocery store. Security guards watched us carefully. I guess we looked suspicious. "Dude, you fucking can't trust fucking white people! Especially ones with big cameras! Call for backup!"


Obey the bread.


And you're invited! I wonder if this is anything like Buddy Party?

Seriously, the Asian market is the best place in the world. Bring someone there on a date and just walk around and look at things. And, buy EVERYTHING that looks interesting. But, do NOT buy the lychee wine, no matter how good of an idea it seems, unless you really want a good, old-fashioned mouth raping. No joke, it tastes like lapping up diesel fuel from a puddle down a dusty country road in Taiwan.

But, maybe that's the fun of it?


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