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I can't tell if Grandpa Paul is grumpy or maybe feeling bad or something. He seems to be swearing even more than usual this morning. I didn't even think it was possible for him to swear more than he already does.

I decided to try a little experiment and see just how much he actually swears.

Every time he says anything at all I pick up my diary, uncap the black fountain pen, and transcribe his words on to the paper. I don't even say anything at all back. I just write down what he says—word for word.

I thought he might eventually notice that I was taking notes on everything he said. But, my bet is that he just thinks that I'm being characteristically eccentric or artistic—or some other euphemism for 'femme'—writing in a diary is just something that people like me and my "weird fairy ass faggot musician friends" do.

Here's the transcript of every single thing my grandfather said during our drive and occasional fuel stops between Los Alamos and North Hollywood. I've left nothing out. I didn't edit or change a single word. [And, in case you're like me and you hate reading, click here to hear the audio version of it!]
"Stay the fuck over there asshole. Fucking Mercedes up your ass!"

"Fucking young cunt. [Our truck passes her car. He looks over at her.] Oh. Guess she's an old cunt."

"It's about fucking time!"

"Come on! You opening a fucking trucking lane now? Come on! I wanna get the fuck over there! Fucking assholes!"

"Aw fuck! What, are they parked here for the day?"

"Aw fuck! This really fucks me now!"

"Now the fucker moves out of that spot. Fucking asshole!"

"[A man crosses in the crosswalk] Come on! I'll fucking run over your ass. This is the fucking USA!"

"Unnnghghgh. I gotta piss!"

"Fucking Mercedes!"

"Awwww fuck. I thought we were gonna bypass the weigh stations. Fuck!"

"Come on! Get over!"

"Come on! [he pauses] Fuckin'!"

"[A pedestrian crosses in a crosswalk] There's some pussy on the hoof. I might get a blowjob before I leave. [he pauses to considers this] Nah, she walks too sloppy."

"Aw fuck! Fucking people come down on you too fast!"

"Fucking trees!"
I feel like I'm part of something magical as grandpa and I drive together. I bask in the moments, as if I'd just won some big award or something. He keeps telling me that he doesn't know how much longer he's going to live. So I slow down and savor all of our moments together.

I hope I can learn to do this with all my moments.