2008-07-13 11:55 p.m.

CMU: Carbonating My Urine Part 1

I've thought it would be cool to carbonate my own urine for as long as I can remember. And, as long as I can remember works out to be sometime yesterday afternoon around 4 PM. Beth and I were at a pool party and I was peeing in the bushes. I suggested that she should taste some of my pee. So, she dipped her hand into the stream and stuck her fingers into her mouth.

Her eyes got wide. "It's sweet!"

I thought she was kidding. But, I tried some and it was, in fact, quite sweet—much sweeter than the other times I've tasted my own urine. (I should mention that I have knowingly tasted my own urine four times that I can remember. Usually it's a bit salty, but otherwise bland.)

I had a revelation as I stood in the bushes near the swimming-pool shaped like California on some hill in Sunland, California. It was clear to me at that point that my life would be singularly focused on that glorious moment when I would carbonate my own sweet urine. And, I would not rest nor divert from my fanatical devotion to this cause until I reached my goal.

Then I promptly forgot about the urine and went swimming.

But, tonight I REMEMBERED! And, I came home and drank all the liquids I could find so I could fill my bladder and prepare for my goal!

I drank the two little bottles of water I found in my fridge, as well as the half-empty can of diet ginger ale. Their contents add up to a little over a liter. But, now I'm just waiting for it all to come out.

That was an hour ago. And, so far I've been unable to produce enough urine to fill the one-liter carbonating bottle.

I used a funnel to get the first bit of pee into the bottle. I have to put the urine in the freezer to get it really cold. I learned that CO2 is more soluble in colder water, so I have to keep the water, or urine, as cold as I can get it without freezing.

I've been poking around online to see if anyone else has any tips on carbonating urine. I tried all the obvious search strings:

- carbonate urine
- carbonate my own urine
- how to carbonate urine
- delicious carbonated urine
- effervescent urine
- urine carbonation
- homemade soda machine pee pee

Google wasn't all that helpful. These searches yielded pages devoted mostly to removing pet urine odors, and there was one page that was home to a discussion as to whether urine or cola would be better for you if you were in the desert and in danger of dehydrating.

But that was all I found.

It looks like I will be at the forefront of urine carbonation technology. More to come soon...


PREVIOUS ENTRY - NEXT ENTRY