2008-12-07 11:44 p.m.

I don't know what's wrong with me. I'm so depressed lately. Especially at mealtimes and at night—before bed is the worst.

I wish it would go away. (And it probably will soon enough.) But, I can't seem to shake it.

It's strange, because the emptiness doesn't seem to have anything to do with my actual life. My life is actually quite wonderful these days. I landed a new client for my business. I I got taken on a date to a dancing lesson, I've been eating wonderful food. Today I made out with my friend's chihuahua and pinched its little doggy penis while she took pictures. I still felt sad.

I met Aeolan this afternoon and we've made major progress on the "Just Go Out With Me" video project. The end is definitely in sight! I couldn't believe how great it looked. Finally all the work seems to be paying off! I still felt sad.

This evening at the Jackie Beat show I learned that Bing Crosby was a terrible child abuser and two of his sons committed suicide because of his horrible abuse. So, I made it a point to croon out "Don't Fence Me In" at the piano bar in Silverlake before heading home. I still felt sad.

In spite of all that joy, I still feel like life is terrible. Even though it isn't.


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