2012-02-24 12:22 a.m.
To Whom It May Concern:
I appreciate the diligence, persistence, and follow through you have demonstrated by lacerating my throat. And, I applaud the way you have anointed my sinuses and eardrums with pain, bleeding, and a superhuman sensitivity to altitude changes. Most of all, I appreciate the attention to detail you put into my cough. It is like Faust, in that is is beautiful, deep, loud, and seems to go on forever.
You graciously declined my antibiotics, but am I surprised? Heavens, no. The brilliant master need not stoop so low as to accept such a tip, when the true reward is in the masterpiece itself. And, when I brought pseudoephedrine and guaifenesin, I quickly realized just how boorish and pushy I must have come across. For this I beg your pardon.
So, I wish you and yours the heartiest thanks, and I fain accept another fine evening appreciating your handiwork.
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