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2003-08-20 11:00 a.m. But yesterday I got reminded in the nicest way. I got this email from a coworker: From: Lucy SilvaI was so flattered that someone took the time out of their day to actually give a compliment—rather than just think it and never share it as most of us do countless times each day. I replied: From: Justin Winokur GraceGoal for the rest of my life: Take the time to actually express to people all the nice things I am thinking and feeling about them. In other news I have been feeling lonely. I never feel lonely, so I am not very good at it. I am a loneliness beginner, fumbling with something very foreign and awkward. Navigating my loneliness is like trying to keep up with a conversation in a foreign language I only took one semester of in high school, ten years ago. Except there's no conversation, since I'm alone. Why do I feel this way? I think it is a combination of things. Some of my closest friends are gone: Andie, Dave Marr, and Trisha are all at Burning Man already. On top of that people have been flaking on me a lot the last week. Almost every phone call, dinner plan, or hang–out turned out to be a no–show. People say they will call, so I sit at home and wait instead of going out and doing something fun and adventurous. They don't call, which leaves me feeling disappointed not only because I don't get to talk with that person but also because I didn't get to go out and do anything else. People usually never flake on me. That's why it seems so strange that the last few days have been a gigantic flake–fest. I wonder why my feelings get so hurt? Is it because I feel especially lonely lately? Or do I feel especially lonely because of being flaked on? The real questions are: What am I supposed to be learning from this? How can I make sure I am being part of the solution (rather than part of the problem)? PREVIOUS ENTRY - NEXT ENTRY |