2005-06-01

Leaving Austin, TX

Austin, Austin.
Why must I love you so?
Why must you be so indifferent about me?
I come to you with my arms outstretched like Jesus, ready for you to fuck me to the cross with any sin you can think of.
You sit there silently, the cutest girl at the party.
Did I see you wink at me? Or was I just imagining things?
I come sit next to you, basking in those things you have that nobody else has�
reveling in your heat, your smell, your tastes.
I lose sleep to be with you.
I pour money into holes to be with you.
I dive into cold, dark waters just to be near you.
I write you love poems.
You don't even notice.
You don't notice when I arrive. You don't notice when I leave.
You don't notice when I come or how I come or how much noise I make when I come or if I even come at all.
I'll miss you when I go. I'll wave good�bye from out the airplane window.
And you will disappear below me, the most lovely lips in the whole Republic of Texas�your wink shrinking into nothing as I rocket away.
You won't remember me. You never noticed my presence anyways�how could you notice my absence.
But, I'm a romantic and a hopeful, and in my daydreams I'll always believe that I saw you wink at me.


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