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2006-05-10


I'm in Sweden again. I came over to finish up the album. I arrived early so I'd have time to have meetings before I locked myself in the studio for a week.

My flight got my into Stockholm at 7:45 in the morning. And, I didn't have any meetings planned until the next day. So, I decided to do the most obvious thing—I took a boat ride.

Ok, it's not really very obvious at all. That's why I thought it would be funny.

And, I secretly hoped that the boat would crash or sink or that maybe someone would fall overboard. Then I could get some really good photos.


I had lunch on the boat.


The only boat running this early in the season was one to Drottningholm. Drottningholm is the palace where the royal family lives. It's also where Swedish guards dress funny and stand at attention no matter what you do in front of them.

I want to make fun of how silly they are. But, at the same time I have a lot of respect for their tradition. And, they're cooler than our police and guards. Why? Well, Swedish police aren't so imposing. You don't get the feeling that they might club you or hassle you. I feel like they're actually trying to keep the peace. And, they don't have mustaches.


Observe: No Mustache.


The most important function of the fancy pants palace guards is to keep you off the grass. This sign reads, "Keep your filthy feet off the fucking lawn, you fuck." Ok, not really. It actually says, "The grass does not get to be walked upon." So, in reality, the sign is there to remind you to respect the fact that the grass has been very bad. And, it's being punished. The way they punish the grass is to take away it's right to have your shoes crush it's delicate, green blades.

Poor grass.


I tried to combine all the normal tourist photos into one: a statue, a fountain, a palace, a garden. It's much easier this way.



This is the Chinese Pavilion. I think some king made it for his wife.


I'm really bad at taking pictures of inanimate objects. They don't really work with me the way people do—there's no dynamic response. And, I feel so obvious taking pictures of things like flowers. They're not interesting. And, they're everywhere. But, sometimes I can't help myself. And, there weren't any people to take pictures of.


Eventually it was time to leave the palace and come back to the city. So, I got back on the boat. It was full of people to photograph. But, I got the impression they really didn't want to be photographed. And, none of them were interesting enough to photograph against their own will. So, I listened to my iPod and took pictures of the lights that hung above me.

Taking pictures makes me so happy. I've been trying to do things that make me happy. If I don't, then who will?


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