2007-11-25

Pittsburgh has been pretty fun so far. I've done lots of things. Here is what happened on Day 1.

A gator statue in Claire's yard

Claire and I walked to the local cupcake bakery. Yes, this bakery sells NOTHING BUT CUPCAKES.

I wanted to masturbate I was so happy. I should also mention that the clerk told me, "Be careful using our restroom. Not to get all up in your business, but it's not so good for number two. The plumbing is having problems."

There were so many things to take pictures of. I was the annoying dog that has to stop and pee on every single thing. Except I was peeing with my camera. I took pictures of signs, walls, and things that made me smile.

After I took a bunch of pictures of things which must surely be boring to everyone except me, we walked back home to plan the rest of our day. I observed there were little statues of lions flanking Claire's driveway. They weren't the totally obscene, ostentatious kind that shout money, but rather cheap afterthoughts by a drunk mason.

I thought of the lions that Lindsay Firth had in front of her house when she was a teenager. On my first visit, I remember she warned me, "Please don't laugh at my house." I asked why, and she replied, "There are stone lions."

If you're going to have stone lions, they really should be big and obnoxious and fantastically expensive. They should be sturdy enough that the gardener could never smash them to bits with garden tools when you fire him. Nothing says "I only bought my son a stainless steel Rolex" like a small lion statue. What would the women in Junior League think?

We poked around on the internet and found a strange shrine to Mary. It was located in someone's backyard in a crummy part of town.

I had a brief encounter with nature while walking to the shrine. Here is a picture of what nature looks like, in case you're lucky enough to not know first-hand:

It's important to counteract any accidental exposure to nature with some man-made objects. This fence seemed like a suitable short-term antidote.

Then we went downtown to visit a giant tower that had the word 'learning' in the name. It was something like the Citadel of Learning, or something. We took the elevator to the 36th floor.

Pittsburgh from the 36th floor of the learning place.

Then we walked to see a dinosaur statue that was decorated like Mr. Rogers.

Later that evening we went to this event called the Vaudeville Carnivale. My attention span is short, so I took lots of pictures.

His name is Logan. He menaced his grandmother and other children with his snapping frog toy. He was rowdy and out-of-control and behaved totally inappropriately. It was excellent.

The daughter of one of the belly dancers

She sang. But, mostly she looked good.

Does anyone know her name? She's a genius musician and songwriter. I want to hear more of this one's music.

People often ask me why I don't blog more often. I realize it took me an hour just to assemble this blog, and that doesn't count the time I spent editing photos. Blogging was a lot easier when Apple paid me a salary to be in front of a computer each day.


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