2002-03-08 8:48 a.m.

What is wrong with me? I mean, I guess it was nice to buy a dozen doughnuts for my workmates, but did I really need to buy an extra two, huge, quivering, mountain–sized doughnuts just for myself? And, then when I got to work and found that my team–mate bought doughnuts, too, did I really need to eat one of those, too? They feel so good to eat, but then I always feel sick and stupid and retarded afterwards.

I imagine a young sprite, bounding from hill to hill in the forest. Then, the magical fairy comes along...and, with a sprinkle of fairy dust and a wave of her magic wand, she turns him into a giant, hairy, ass–crack, packed full of lard and lumps of giblets and pork hearts and deep–fried, saturated groin–kicking. That is what happens to me when I put on my retarded face and eat three huge doughnuts.

This doughnut, today's pastry #3, added insult to injury. Big forehead, little face, gimpy arms, little yellow bus to school, doughnut eating retard. That is me.

I should know better by now. I really need to learn some moderation. I mean, seriously. I am like this about everything. I feel I need to go as far as one can go in everything I do, including eating. It is not such a bad trait in school or music of friendships or things like that. But, eating, for example, is not such a good one. Or, drinking...like the time when I tried to drink as much alcohol as I could on a flight to London, and I woke up after being asleep for who–knows–how–long with my head inside the toilet of the airplane's bathroom. I figured that I had fallen asleep there after vomiting, but who knows since I definitely could not remember.

MAIL! FOR ME! Holy God, yes! When packages arrive in the mail, I am poised and ready with the second–most–effective box–opening tool to hit the USA since September 11th.

On a happier note, my new microphone arrived today, so that makes me happy. I can not wait to use it. I have been working on breathing exercises and singing for a few hours every day for months in preparation for my recording session this weekend. I am so stoked. After four CDs where I basically just play guitar on other peoples' songs, it is just beyond exciting to be finally working on an album of my own songs—singing, playing guitar, everything.

Wow. The Lawson L251. I can not believe I have one of these now. This is just amazing.

I bought some pieces to make some more of the twin towers necklaces like I made before, and I am thinking about selling them. If anyone reading this would like to buy one, you can email me or something. They are going to be $20 including shipping, and you could PayPal the money to me. Email me first to check availability, as I only have enough stuff to make a few.


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