jwinokur dot com

2002-12-20 9:59 a.m.

I got an incredibly touching email from someone named Sherrey. This is my response to her email.

From: Justin Winokur Grace
Date: Thu Dec 19, 2002 6:05:33 PM US/Pacific
To: Sherrey
Subject: Re: You and your diary

I must pre - broadcast that I am not a stalker nor do I have any horrible, hidden sexual insinuations or intentions by this letter.

That is too bad. I mean, what person doesn't like it when someone is sexually interested in them. Maybe you don't, but be careful not to project that on me!

And, you would not believe how many people say the exact same thing when they email me. "I am not a stalker." I know they are not a stalker. If they were stalkers, they would come and visit me, call me, send me things, etc. Most people are so lazy. They want me to send them things for free, but they would not even dream of lifting a finger to actually do something as ambitious as bothering me. Know what I mean?

And, why do we live in a world where people are so RETARDED to think that if you contact someone you don't know that you are all of a sudden a stalker? I mean, come on. Dude. That is just plain ridiculous. And, as long as people keep putting that vibe out, it will continue to prevent people from feeling comfortable contacting one another.

You see, my intention and commendation is far simpler and small� town naive then that.

Then why did you even write that first part?

You know what I mean. You know how they don't lock their doors in Canada (of course, you are from there)? They have some amount of faith that people are good. And, if people started to live in fear and negativity, that fear would actually BREED exactly what those people fear.

Similarly, there really aren't any stalkers. But, if people keep telling me about stalkers, I will believe that they exist. And, I will be afraid of them. And stalkers will be in my mind. And, then, like all self–fulfilling prophecies, it will work to create them in the world. Instant stalkers.

So, what to do?

Stay positive. Think about what you want to be. Give no attention to what you don't want to be.

Ok, enough ranting...for now.

�I hail from a small ( iddey biddey actually) town by the proud name of Penhold Alberta Canada. It cannot be found on most maps but is on maps.com.�I enjoyed an�Opey like upbringing with cows, pigs, rodeos and of course prairie oysters. I am sure you respect the oysters as you love your H.T.

I always wanted to eat them, but have not had the opportunity. And, now that Mad Cow is a real threat, I have given up eating cows forever. Sigh. It bums me out that I never got to eat them before I went on my anti–cow ban. Oh well!

�I happened to stumble across your site looking for pimples. My heavens only knows why??

Maybe because pimples are totally kick ass and rad in every way? I mean, come on! They are so excellent!

But back to the point. I feel rather voyeuristic reading your and Andies diaries. I have read them both from start to finish and I check daily on how you are doing. I know that it must be rather intrusive� with perfect strangers taking pleasure in your lives.

Not at all. I don't feel a thing. And, if I minded, I wouldn't make it available to the public. The internet is cool that way—it is public domain. You can look at whatever you want, and I can't stop you. If you ask me, that rules so much!

I am glad you enjoy reading about our lives. I like living my life, that is for sure!

�I have wanted to write for sometime now and tell you how much spark your lives have ignited in me.

You should explain this sentence in more detail. This is the most important part of your letter from a reader's standpoint.

Not sexually perverted like you probably hopefully think.I will not talk about penis'or asses or even piss bombs. I want to be a sappy woman who has actually been moved by what you two have written.

There is nothing sappy about being open and susceptible to the beauty of a moment. I get teary–eyed all the time at the beauty of life. That is what life is THERE for!

�From the moment I have read the first passage in Justin's diary I have been hooked on your personalities. You have caused me to laugh and provoked me to cry in the beautiful things that you've written.

I am honored to know that you can find some relevant truths in my words. There is no greater honor in this world than to know that I have had the ability to touch the life of another human in a positive way.

�I sit here in a town where big trucks and mullets are more important then women. I am educated with a degree but even the doctors sport cowboy hats around here some times. I just want you to know that I have read romance novels, fairy tales and sweet valley high b.s. books and it feels so good to know that real true love exists outside Hollywood. The respect and devotion that you show each other is beautiful and awe inspiring. A modern day contemporary pro-feminist, equal relationship.

Beware the dangers of feminism. They are the same dangers as being Politically Correct or any other silly archetype. Instead, be always loving, be HUMANIST. Love all people equally. Love people not in spite of their differences and problems, but love them because of them.

And, this means compassion and active understanding of their plight and suffering.

So, about true love:

I dunno. If you met Andie, you would be compelled to love her, too. I am not the best guy out there, but she is the best girl out there. And, that compels me to be a much better person than I would be on my own. I look forward to loving her each day. She is wonderful, and I try to treat her as good as I can each moment. It is like customer service, really. I know that she could do "business" with any number of people. But, she chooses to do "business" with me. So, I want to keep her with me. Therefore, I must make sure that I show her that by always treating her with the best that I have to offer.

�Long story short here kids... your ( you and Andies ) love is something pretty unique. My breath has stopped short at what you have confessed publicly.

Wow.

Of course, you must admit that I have also confessed publicly to owning horse testicles and letting my friend Dave slap his penis on my face at the SantaCon last weekend. Hehehe, and you still like me? Wow!

The love letters and small whispers of honesty give me hope that chivalry and romance are alive.

I don't know anything about chivalry or romance. I just love Andie and do what comes naturally to me. I think that chivalry is contrived. I think even worse about romance. They seem so fake to me. I just want to love—pure, and simple love.

I say nothing to be noble or right. I just do what each moment calls for. And, sometimes it calls for writing love letters. Sometimes it calls for petting her face. Sometimes it calls for me calling her on her crap, which she hates and does not deal well with.

Beware of archetypes like romance and chivalry. Instead, be yourself and treat people with the love they deserve—the compassion they deserve. Then your actions become fluid like water and weightless like air. That is when your love is free to supernova.

Cheers to you both. I sincerely wish you all the best and that all your dreams come true both singularly and together.

Me too!

Thank you so much for taking the time to write such an honest, open letter to me. I forwarded it to Andie, of course.

If you don't have NYE plans, you are welcome to come to our party here. You can stay at our house, too! Can you get to San Jose or San Francisco?

-Justin

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