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2005-01-07

(Written as I sit in the San Jose airport, waiting for my flight to Burbank.)

Airport. This is airport. I open my mouth and out comes airport. This is the dumbest airport ever made.

There are parts of my life that I love. And, there are parts I'm not so fond of. When I'm feeling down it can be hard to remember the parts that I love—the gold star stickers and hugs and happy feelings.

So, I thought I should take this hour at the airport to make a few lists. One will be the list of things that I love about my life. The other will be the 'needs improvement', in other words, the chaff.

Things I love about my life:

It's exciting. I do different things all the time. I have tons of friends. I'm healthy. I know that I can help make other people feel better about themselves.

Things I don't love about my life:

I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know what direction I'm heading towards. Most days lately I wake up and find that I don't even want to get out of bed. I feel like there's nothing worth living for. It's not that I want to die or anything. It's just that there's nothing about my life that makes me excited and want to live in that deep passionate way that I've always thought of as an innate, deep part of myself.


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