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2002-05-01 8:43 p.m.

Skot and Ash and I went to PW Market after dinner this evening so I could buy $25 worth of stamps to send buttons and pictures and stuff to people. We asked to use their restroom, and the lady behind the bakery counter informed us that the lights were broken in the men's room, so it was out of order.

Hmmmm. Her syllogism seemed somewhat...flawed. Do the Sami people in northern Scandinavia hold in their urine all winter—a time when perpetual darkness rules for three months? Do bears in the woods wait until morning to void their bowels? What about blind people whose eyes will never experience light? Do they hold it forever?

You don't really need the lights to do something as simple as urinating. The trick is to familiarize yourself with the topography of the restroom (or forest, or whatever area) and its fixtures. In a supermarket restroom this is simple: Open the door and let in enough light to take a mental picture of what the restroom looks like, then shut the door and see how well you remember under the shroud of darkness. It is surely not that difficult.

Personally, I find it is even easier when I ignore the toilet and pee in the sink.


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